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Family Feuds
 If you think you have trouble relating to your children, imagine how your parents feel! These days, more grandparents are living with or taking care of their grandchildren than ever before, partly due to the increase in single-parent homes, divorces, and working women.
Parents who have parents to share some of the burdens of childcare are lucky. But the two generations may have very different ways of thinking about the proper way to raise a child. These differences can lead to tension, stress, and family fights.
For example, today's moms or dads tend to be pretty flexible about bedtime, meals, homework, and manners. This can be difficult for grandparents who believe in stricter rules for bringing up children. While Mom may think it's fine to let her teenager go out on a school night, when Grandma's in charge the rule might be, "Absolutely NOT!" When disagreements like this arise, the child is caught in the middle – and may end up feeling confused and angry.
Fortunately, there are constructive ways for parents and grandparents to settle their differences. One way is to sit down together and come to an agreement about each person's roles and responsibilities in the family. Or, when a question about behavior comes up, a parent and a grandparent can decide privately how to deal with it – and then tell the child. When a parent and grandparent work as a team, they create a healthier family environment in which the youngest members benefit from twice as much love and experience.
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